Killing those that you hate with a bitch pout!.

I want you all be honest with yourselves and with me and answer this question with the utmost truth… Have you ever thought about killing someone because you hated them so much!!??.

I for one have fantasized about blasting the top ten people in my HATE LIST with a Uzi smiling gleefully and looking über stylish “Tarantino style” and cleansing my bitch soul for another six months!!

If you had an itch you would use some cream to cure the itch so what is wrong with using extreme methods of eradication on those people who annoy you!?.

Well I see nothing is wrong with it as long as you can get away with it!!.

But No one is worth being put in prison and losing your freedom, so if there is a slightest chance that you would be caught then use the verbal assault method and acid bath the bastards with your breath/attitude!.

I can really annoy people and provoke ultimate reactions and not feel remorse and in the process hopefully leave them with blood pressure levels high enough to (fingers crossed) to cause them to have a heart attack!!

RESULT!!!

The reasons why I have been silent!.

My joy at the impending conclusion of the year 2009 is overwhelming and exciting ,more so than any other year because of the traumatic events of the death of my dog Jack and my increasing heath scares.

Only last month my health deteriorated to where I was planning my funeral and imagining how my mother would cope without me!?, somehow I had lost control of my emotional state and had ventured down the dark path of depression where even the slightest situation seems catastrophic! .

Initially I had been drinking very heavily during the period when my dog had passed away but I realised that at some point had to stop  or otherwise I would become someone other than what I wanted to be.

So I stopped drinking and abstained for 3 months but then started again purely through boredom but instantly my health went down rapidly and I began to imagine I had stomach cancer (my father died from cancer)because of the strange and odd pains in my stomach .

I couldn’t eat any food and I was so tense that my limbs were sore ,this went on for a couple of weeks until the feelings were so intense that I made an appointment to see my doctor who diagnosed that I had excessive stomach acid which had irritated the stomach lining and became inflamed .

so the doctor prescribed some medication which slowly healed my problem and I am at a point where I need to be careful what I eat and drink and eradicate stress completely!.

I am now changing my lifestyle and living at much more relaxed pace!.

I wanted to explain why I hadn’t posted anything in the last couple of months but now I am back on track and recharging to full bitch status and I will be posting on my blog more regularly!!.

My Sadness and Heartbreak

The end of July and the month of August has for me been such a terribly stressful and emotionally draining time and will be etched in my psyche for eternity. Jack my beloved dog of 14 years passed away on the 27th July suffering from a burst pancreatic tumour, he had not been eating properly  for about a month previous but on the Saturday it became obvious that something seriously was wrong with him.

He was admitted to the vets hospital in Chester on the Saturday where they performed various test on him and gave him medication to ease his discomfort, an hour after he was admitted they informed me that he had cancer!. He stayed in the hospital over the weekend and was released on the Monday to the care of our local vets, They had intended to operated to try to local the cancer but around seven o’clock that night I received a call that Jack had worsened and wouldn’t last the night.

Jack had all but gone when we saw him last and we were with him when he was put to sleep,Jack helped me through my fathers terminal cancer and I helped jack through his passing and it was a promise that I made to him as a thank you to all the wonderful and happy times we had shared that I would never let him suffer.

The following month I began to drink heavily every night to ease my pain but I knew that at some point the drinking would have to stop, my health was deteriorating and my body felt like I had aged to around 80 years old. Two weeks ago I stopped drinking and a visit to the doctor helped me terribly, I am now back to full health and feeling better than ever!.

I am stronger than I have ever been but there is a sadness in my heart for my dear sweet Jack, you will always be missed.

R.I.P Jack 24th September 1995 – 27th August 2009.

My sister Belinda

Today would have been my sister’s 50th birthday if she would have lived, she died at the age of five because she had a hole in the heart!.The doctors said she was born 10 years too soon,and because of advances in surgical techniques (the procedure is now done routinely with key hole surgery) she most likely would be alive now!.

I would have loved to have had the chance to have got to know her and I do feel a connection to her and always wish that I could talk to her and form a bond!. I went with my mum today to the church yard to lay flowers on the grave where she is at rest with my father. Life changes so fast so try to live life to the full and take time to really appreciate it while you can!.
Belinda you will forever be in my heart. XX