My cookings fatal

I could not believe my eyes when my mother whom I had cooked a meal for began to choke on a piece of chicory, it had traveled down to the mid-stomach and logged there causing her distress and panic not only in her but in me!!.

The only way for her get relief was to induce vomiting …I was beside myself   it was me who had put her in this situation and all I could think about was me an hour from now alone and my mother dead on the floor!!

My stomach was in knots and blood pressure was sky-high!.. I began to fall deeper into hysteria!!.

Blood was beginning to show in her vomit which was a result from her self-induced retching and I was a high-speed dramatic drama queen.. I needed a fag!,,I need a vodka!.

Luckily after an hour things got better and water was able to go down and she felt more relaxed,I remained in a state of shock and my stomach grow to the size of camels hump!!.

I will never forget the day I nearly killed my mother with my cooking!!!

The Loneliest Homo in the World

Sometimes I have the feeling that I am so alone in the world and even when I am surrounded by people I can STILL  have these feelings. I have always been independent and have never really relied on anyone to look after me and I can fierily guard my privacy and never let anyone past a certain point.

This I feel is my weak point and I am jealous of people who can have a “family” of friends and socialise constantly,I can never achieve this no matter how hard I try because there is safe guard switch that always clicks back to my default setting of HERMIT!.

My sister Belinda

Today would have been my sister’s 50th birthday if she would have lived, she died at the age of five because she had a hole in the heart!.The doctors said she was born 10 years too soon,and because of advances in surgical techniques (the procedure is now done routinely with key hole surgery) she most likely would be alive now!.

I would have loved to have had the chance to have got to know her and I do feel a connection to her and always wish that I could talk to her and form a bond!. I went with my mum today to the church yard to lay flowers on the grave where she is at rest with my father. Life changes so fast so try to live life to the full and take time to really appreciate it while you can!.
Belinda you will forever be in my heart. XX