The New Arrival.

Just lately I’ve been extremely tired more than usual and this can only be contributed to the arrival of My lovely sweet/evil miniature Jack Russell puppy BEN!! which arrived on Monday 13th sept. I think that I’ve been very naive in thinking that a puppy would be a breeze to train but in my defence I’ve never had a puppy to look after before!.

A week on and he’s getting better, his bum now navigates toward the training pads which are dotted over the house but something which I can not believe I did is causing me sleepless nights and all because im a kind caring soul and on the first night I thought seeing that Ben would be missing his mother sleeping with me would be wise! “HELL NO!!!” I created from this simple act total drama at nigh time and now its traumatic to keep him in his basket at night!

Still its early days and its fun and interesting with a lively individual in the house even if he’s eating my clothes, feet and creative time !!

The reasons why I have been silent!.

My joy at the impending conclusion of the year 2009 is overwhelming and exciting ,more so than any other year because of the traumatic events of the death of my dog Jack and my increasing heath scares.

Only last month my health deteriorated to where I was planning my funeral and imagining how my mother would cope without me!?, somehow I had lost control of my emotional state and had ventured down the dark path of depression where even the slightest situation seems catastrophic! .

Initially I had been drinking very heavily during the period when my dog had passed away but I realised that at some point had to stop  or otherwise I would become someone other than what I wanted to be.

So I stopped drinking and abstained for 3 months but then started again purely through boredom but instantly my health went down rapidly and I began to imagine I had stomach cancer (my father died from cancer)because of the strange and odd pains in my stomach .

I couldn’t eat any food and I was so tense that my limbs were sore ,this went on for a couple of weeks until the feelings were so intense that I made an appointment to see my doctor who diagnosed that I had excessive stomach acid which had irritated the stomach lining and became inflamed .

so the doctor prescribed some medication which slowly healed my problem and I am at a point where I need to be careful what I eat and drink and eradicate stress completely!.

I am now changing my lifestyle and living at much more relaxed pace!.

I wanted to explain why I hadn’t posted anything in the last couple of months but now I am back on track and recharging to full bitch status and I will be posting on my blog more regularly!!.

My Sadness and Heartbreak

The end of July and the month of August has for me been such a terribly stressful and emotionally draining time and will be etched in my psyche for eternity. Jack my beloved dog of 14 years passed away on the 27th July suffering from a burst pancreatic tumour, he had not been eating properly  for about a month previous but on the Saturday it became obvious that something seriously was wrong with him.

He was admitted to the vets hospital in Chester on the Saturday where they performed various test on him and gave him medication to ease his discomfort, an hour after he was admitted they informed me that he had cancer!. He stayed in the hospital over the weekend and was released on the Monday to the care of our local vets, They had intended to operated to try to local the cancer but around seven o’clock that night I received a call that Jack had worsened and wouldn’t last the night.

Jack had all but gone when we saw him last and we were with him when he was put to sleep,Jack helped me through my fathers terminal cancer and I helped jack through his passing and it was a promise that I made to him as a thank you to all the wonderful and happy times we had shared that I would never let him suffer.

The following month I began to drink heavily every night to ease my pain but I knew that at some point the drinking would have to stop, my health was deteriorating and my body felt like I had aged to around 80 years old. Two weeks ago I stopped drinking and a visit to the doctor helped me terribly, I am now back to full health and feeling better than ever!.

I am stronger than I have ever been but there is a sadness in my heart for my dear sweet Jack, you will always be missed.

R.I.P Jack 24th September 1995 – 27th August 2009.

Twin illnesses within a week.

Its weeks after I was bed ridden for 3 days with a virus, with a hot water bottle strapped to my head and a constant supply of painkillers to ease my fever and hot lucid dreams of orgies to get me through the night time. I remained weak for days afterwards and one night during this time my 13 year old dog Jack began violently vomiting which lasted 3 hours and ended at 1.30 in the morning. He then collapsed and appeared horribly lifeless, he seemed to be dying. 

I tried to be strong but emotions took over and for a while I had mini panic attacks and felt powerless to help, luckily after an hour he began to be more aware and at ease, [stress of vomiting had cause the collapse].  Thankfully he recovered and is now giving out attitude [like moi] although  in a recent appointment with the vet they informed me that he has a heart murmur and needs constant medication.

All these events have made me realise that I need to value the moment and not worry about the future because the future will happen even if I waste my time agonising over it.

     JACK LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW.